Emotional wounds come in a variety of ways but they have one thing in common, they hurt. Betrayal, abuse, abandonment, rejection, neglect, and deception create deep emotional wounds. People deal with hurt differently. Some work through their pain and move forward with their lives. Some hold onto the pain and live crippled lives emotionally. Others cling to the hurt and progress to intense anger and hatred toward their offenders. Hurt doesn’t always progress to hatred but it can linger indefinitely if the person does not take steps to heal. Sometimes offenses are misperceived and have no reality base at all. The person feels offended when no offense has been made. Other times the truth is mixed with lies about what really happened to make a person to feel wounded. There may be some partial truth to what happened but the rest is false. The hurt progresses to resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, and hatred. The person has moved from hurt to hate.
Emotional wounds hurt but they can be healed. Hate toward another is destructive, there’s nothing redemptive about it. It’s the opposite of love. It is rebellion against God, Who is Love. Hate also opens the door to the demonic; it plays right into satan’s hands. It often leads to actions that attempt to tear down, defame, or destroy the offender. Hate perpetuates pain, the very thing that the offended person wants to eliminate. It keeps the pain alive and consumes the person from within. We are not
supposed to hate. It’s not God’s way. Individuals and groups often perpetuate war on others because they will not let go, work through, or give
their pain to the Lord. They generate more pain in the process of hating. They think that they are justified in getting revenge, in making the offender suffer what they have suffered. This is happening all over the world today.
Biblical Examples of Hurt turned to Hate
We have Joseph and his brothers. (Genesis 37:4) “But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him.” (Genesis 37:5) “Now Joseph had a dream, and he told it to his brothers; and they hated him even more.” (Genesis
37:8) “And his brothers said to him, “Shall you indeed reign over us? Or shall you indeed have dominion over us?” So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words.” Joseph’s brothers let their hurt over their father favoring Joseph and Joseph’s dreams evolve into hatred and plans to murder him. They sold him into slavery. Of course God used this for good but it is a painful example of how their hurt turned to hate.
There’s Jacob and Esau the twin sons of Isaac described in Genesis 25, 27, 32, 33. Isaac favored Esau and Rebecca favored Jacob. First Esau gives up his birthright for a bowl of soup, then Isaac is tricked into blessing Jacob, his second born, instead of his first born son, Esau. Gen 27:41So Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father blessed him, and Esau said in his heart, “The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” Esau’s hurt and pain from all this turned to hatred and rage toward his brother. Jacob fled for his life and during
the time he was away his mother Rebecca died. Eventually Jacob and his family returned to his homeland and Esau reconciled with him.
Then there’s Absalom and Amnon. (2Sam 13:22) And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because
he had forced his sister Tamar. Two years later Absalom had his half brother murdered. Absalom’s pain and suffering over his sister’s rape turned to hate which led to his revenge two years later. He could have forgiven his brother but he didn’t. I am sure you can list other situations in the Bible where wronged people went from hurt to hate.
What do you do to overcome hurt? How do you prevent yourself from hating those who grieved you? We all get hurt by people some time in our life and the offenders are usually family and friends, those closest to us. The pain that comes from being wounded by someone you love is deep. The torment of being hurt or seeing someone you love wounded emotionally can be tremendous. It is very hard to let go of the pain.
As Christians, we must remember that no matter what happens to us in this life, it is nothing compared to what Jesus Christ suffered here on earth to save us. He gives us the way through, power to heal, and forgive when we have been grievously wounded emotionally. We have built in us through the Holy Spirit all the tools we will ever need to deal with and resolve troubles in this life. We are overcomers through Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior. So, when you are hurt by a family member or close friend, or someone you care for very much is hurt. Remember who you are in Christ. Even though the pain is monumental, begin that very moment to purpose in your heart to heal and move through it with the help of God Almighty. Start there before you let yourself fester and obsess over the pain someone has caused you. Allow yourself to feel but don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t fall into a deep depression over your pain. This is extremely hard to do, so don’t beat yourself up if you fail a couple times. Allow God to help you get back on track and move through the pain and hurt. But don’t allow your hurt to turn into hate and lead you into committing more sinful actions in retaliation. God will deal with your offenders. You don’t have to exact vengeance on His behalf. Feel your pain but don’t let it take you to hate. Stay close to God and Godly people who will stand in the gap for you as you heal. This will take time. It is not immediate. If you remain stuck and feel like your pain is turning into hate, you might want to talk to your pastor. You may also need professional Christian counseling to help you move through the healing and restoration
Don’t move away from God in your pain – run to Him. Pour out your heart to Him. You will see that He will not abandon you. He will comfort and heal
you if you let Him. Don’t resist. You must forgive eventually We must be ready to forgive those who trespass against us. Deep healing cannot really
come without forgiveness. And we can only really forgive with God’s help. You will heal. Let God mend your broken heart. He is the Master
Physician. He specializes in healing brokenness.
What does the Bible say about hate?
The word hate is mentioned 83 times in the Bible compared to love which is mentioned 323 times. That’s almost a 4:1 ratio of love over hate in God’s
Word. That alone should tell us something. What does the Bible say about hate? What are we supposed to do when someone hurts us?
Lev. 19:17 You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and not bear sin because of him.
Prov. 10:12 Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins.
Matt. 5:44 But I say to you, love your enemies,
bless those who curse you, do good to those who
hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you
and persecute you,
Luke 6:27-28 “But I say to you who hear: Love
your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
bless those who curse you, and pray for those who
spitefully use you.”
Gal 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, un- cleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions,
jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
1John.3:15 Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
John 20:23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”
Eph. 4:32 And be kind to one another, tender- hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Col. 3:12-13 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender
mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
Matt. 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Eph. 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
Psalm 30:2 O LORD my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me.
Psalm 107:20 He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.
Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Proverbs 3:7-8 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones.
Isaiah 53:5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and
by His stripes we are healed.
Jeremiah 33:6 Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth.
God Will Heal You
Don’t let your hurt linger or turn to hate. I know life is hard, emotional wounds will come. You must choose to let God heal you. He wants you healed and restored. This life is not accidental. Your hurt will be used to glorify God. Let Him take you through the healing process and bless others with your testimony to His goodness. Forgive your offenders. Release them to God. He will deal with them. Pray for those who have hurt you. I know this is hard, but you must. Don’t give the enemy any ground. Don’t let your hurt evolve into hate. Hate and revenge don’t even the score, they just keep
the pain alive multiplying the miseries. Hate is a cancer that destroys. God’s love overcomes all the hate in the world. Choose to love when you feel like
making your offender hurt. You can’t do this on your own. Let God help and heal you.